A group of 30 or so high school kids came across my path today. Inside my fifty year old body is a girl about that age. She is shy and insecure, but has learned to compensate with self-deprecating jokes and an easy going nature. Dubious of any value her life’s experiences may hold, she is still unsure of what she wants to be when she grows up.
Recently, I have been reading about how our very thoughts shape our lives. That we become and attract what we think about. For most of my adult life, I have pursued my life’s passions and goals by a process of elimination. I try something out, determine that it isn’t exactly the right thing for me and then move on. Chameleon-like, I can adapt to nearly any situation. From a job that isn’t the greatest but not that bad, to a family gathering that didn’t turn out as expected, I don’t very often get too upset about things. I keep in mind sayings like – “live and let live”, “no biggy” and “don’t sweat the petty” – and that mindset keeps my blood pressure steady, allows me to sleep well at night and avoids any confrontations that might arise for someone else living my life.
But are those very thoughts confining me to live a life of acquiescence? The shy teenager inside me struggles today, this very minute, to identify the things I truly love doing, so I can concentrate on them. I want to ride the high seas of a passionate life so that later on, when I float again on smooth, calm waters, I will have something to share.